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Old 03-25-2004, 11:38 AM   #39 (permalink)
Half Shovel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoldOnNissan
I'm a little bit radical. Even though I didn't write this, it pretty well sums it up for me.............

YOU CAN BE A DEMOCRAT - Virtually anyone can be a Democrat, but if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, here are some necessary prerequisites.

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U. S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, George Washington or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

If you agree.....VOTE DEMOCRAT !!!
OH GOD, I ALMOST CRAPPED MY PANTS...Sorry Democrat folks, but some of this rings true, and even more important....IT'S FUNNY AS HELL! Of course, we could make a similar list for all the GOP lovers. I've always considered myself a "conservative moderate" (whatever the hell that is), and really enjoy watching the people on "both sides of the aisle" go at it. This is a CLASSIC. Well done!!!
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