when she wont put out

[bgbdwlf2500]

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

[redneckpapa1996]

Good one !!!!!!!

[albonismo]

wow, im surprised she didn't slap you. if you don't mind me asking, was it worth it?

[zapak]

Originally Posted by albonismo

wow, im surprised she didn't slap you. if you don't mind me asking, was it worth it?

pwned. that and is she still with you?

[TitanBlue]

Excepting the last line, my pastor used this illustration of love in a sermon, word for word, twice this past year! It makes a very good point!

I think bgbdwlf2500 isn't sleeping in the doghouse quite yet.

[imaweirdo159]

Originally Posted by TitanBlue

Excepting the last line, my pastor used this illustration of love in a sermon, word for word, twice this past year! It makes a very good point!

I think bgbdwlf2500 isn't sleeping in the doghouse quite yet.

Your pastor was talking about getting it on with his girlfriend.....?

Haha jk.

[albonismo]

Originally Posted by TitanBlue

Excepting the last line, my pastor used this illustration of love in a sermon, word for word, twice this past year! It makes a very good point!

I think bgbdwlf2500 isn't sleeping in the doghouse quite yet.

hahaha, busted! let's all get our criticism in before this dude deletes his thread! lol jk

[bgbdwlf2500]

its a joke, im not that stupid

[c1969matt]

That is a good one.

[Energizer]

Originally Posted by albonismo

wow, im surprised she didn't slap you. if you don't mind me asking, was it worth it?

uhh... I doubt it was real... its a very old joke...

[TitanBlue]

OK, I missed the he read it as a husband and wife. Oh well!

Still a great illustration...