Top Headlines from 2007

[54warrior]

> Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
> [Imagine that!]
>
>
>
>
> Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
> [No, really?]
>
>
> Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
> [Now that's taking things a bit far!]
>
>
> Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
> [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]
>
>
> Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
> [What a guy!]
>
>
> Miners Refuse to Work after Death
> [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]
>
>
> Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
> [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]
>
>
> War Dims Hope for Peace
> [I can see where it might have that effect!]
>
>
> If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
> [You think?]
>
>
> Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
> [Who would have thought!]

>
> Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
> [They may be on to something!]
>
>
> Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
> [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
>
>
> Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
> [he probably IS the battery charge!]
>
>
> New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
> [Weren't they fat enough?!]
>
>
> Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas
> in Spacecraft
> [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
>
>
> Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
> [Taste like chicken?]
>
> Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
> [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
>
>
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
> [Boy, are they tall!]
>
>
>
> And the winner is....
>
> Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

[master_1011]

I can't believe I just saw this....