Bank Robbery

54warrior · 01-30-2008, 10:44 AM

Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.
They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING...

8NOFEAR · 01-30-2008, 10:51 AM

Haha!! Thats what they get to try and steal from a bank!!!

Yahooligan · 01-30-2008, 10:56 AM

Funny joke.

bigfinderman · 01-30-2008, 11:27 AM

Niiiiice........

**Blackbeauty** · 01-30-2008, 12:06 PM

Hahahahaha! What cums around goes... well.. nevermind...

was240 · 01-30-2008, 12:55 PM

Thats good!!!
on a side note.... My brother inlaw works at a bank (with money) and yesterday some chic that was high off her rocker tried to rob it. He didnt give her a cent. She kept asking for all the money in the safe, 1 million dollars and then 50k. He asked for id and she then ran off to the small mall across the street. She then stole a wig and stuff on the local grocery store and was then tackled outside by the police.

**Carbeaux** · 01-30-2008, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by was240

Thats good!!!
on a side note.... My brother inlaw works at a bank (with money) and yesterday some chic that was high off her rocker tried to rob it. He didnt give her a cent. She kept asking for all the money in the safe, 1 million dollars and then 50k. He asked for id and she then ran off to the small mall across the street. She then stole a wig and stuff on the local grocery store and was then tackled outside by the police.

Your BIL should be fired for risking the lives of the other bank employees, and the lives of any bank customers that might have been in the bank. It's just money. Not even his money. And it's insured. I can't follow his reasoning. The litigation possibilities are endless.

was240 · 01-30-2008, 05:45 PM

No I dont think he should be fired. I think he did a great job. The woman did not show or appear to have a weapon. He could tell that she was on drugs but at no time did she ever make any comments as to hurting someone. the bank he works at is in a bad area and he deals with lots of crazy people and she didnt seem that bad. He even said that he has customers that treat him alot worse than what she was and they just have an over draft fee because they didnt pay attention to their account. According to him his life is threatened everyday because some dirtball wants cash that they dont have.

Rick Guess · 01-30-2008, 05:50 PM

i agree with the was dude

but you gotta be careful

**bbomar** · 01-31-2008, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rick Guess

i agree with the was dude

but you gotta be careful

?????? Are you 10 or 12?? Dude, go back to school!!!!

**Carbeaux** · 01-31-2008, 05:52 AM

Operative word being didn't appear to have a weapon. Only two ways he could have known for sure. Either she was patted down when she came in, or came in buck naked. Which was it in his case?

That's a hell of a judgement call for a person to make during a bank robbery attempt. And a judgement call with potentially life threatening consequences. Not just for him. If he wants to risk his own life, that's one thing, but to put others at risk isn't his call to make, and would be the grounds for termination. Again, I can't follow his reasoning.

I have no clue what you're referring to when you say "According to him his life is threatened everyday because some dirtball wants cash that they dont have." Do you mean someone tries to rob them every day? I'd have a hard time beleiving that. That means that every day, the police and FBI (yes, the FBI investigates ALL bank robberies, it's a Federal offense) would be at his bank investigating. Every day, his bank would be shut down for several hours during that process.

was240 · 01-31-2008, 08:22 AM

carbeaux you need to relax a little... he deals with the losers everyday. His bank is in a very poor section of town. People there dont have money and they dont care how they treat people. When people overdraw on their account they get pissed off and threaten him just about everyday. No they are not trying to rob his bank they are just venting. This woman never acted pissed off she just kept making comments like I want 1 million dollars. At not point in time did she say anything that would make him think that she was going to cause problems she was just poor and high and wanted money at no point in time was anyone in danger.

**Blackbeauty** · 01-31-2008, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by was240

carbeaux you need to relax a little... he deals with the losers everyday. His bank is in a very poor section of town. People there dont have money and they dont care how they treat people. When people overdraw on their account they get pissed off and threaten him just about everyday. No they are not trying to rob his bank they are just venting. This woman never acted pissed off she just kept making comments like I want 1 million dollars. At not point in time did she say anything that would make him think that she was going to cause problems she was just poor and high and wanted money at no point in time was anyone in danger.

Hindsight is 20/20. Neither YOU nor HE has any clue either now or then that she was unarmed. THAT's the whole point.... It's very nice to be cavalier when all turns out well. But it very well may not have. Being responsible is a dirty job.... but somebody has to do it.

**Carbeaux** · 01-31-2008, 09:03 AM

Relax? Nah. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Let me make sure I have this straight. The bank your BIL works for has a policy in place that allows a manager to make off the cuff decisions, based solely on judgement, that affect the safety of all others in the bank at that time? I hope I'm not a client of that bank. What bank is it?

ReefJones · 01-31-2008, 09:09 AM

So.... If I am a dirt bag (watch it guys

) ,look cracked out (again, be easy) and I walk into a bank and say "I want a million dollars, or 50k" the bank employee should hand it over? Did I miss something here? Now if I walk in a yell, "THIS IS A ROBBERY YOU TURD SUCKIN F@*#& ER BODY ON THE GROUND! STRIP DOWN PUT YOUR WALLET AND JEWELRY AND PURSES IN A PILE! AND YOU, BRAVE LIL' TELLER BOUT TO PRESS THAT BUTTON, YOU FEEL LIKE HAVIN YOUR BRAINS SPREAD ACROSS THAT BACK WALL BEFORE YOU FINISH COLLEGE? OPEN THAT SAFE AND PUT EVERYTHING IN IT..." **all while waiving a gun around**

Then some money should be going in the bag. (Sorry guys I got carried away, but you get the point)

Great joke BTW!
Reef