Good Easy Kill Today

[chieflikalotapus]

Well their i was standing at a red light minding my own business when a 2004 f-150 ext cab 5.4 triton v-6 pulls up aside of me so the guy signals to roll down my window and tells me hey those are the new nissan TITANS so i reply yeah why? then he told me " i heard those things are slow" so i tell him where did you hear that from and he told me "my friend has a f-150 like mine and told me he raced one and beat him real bad". so then i tell the guy well do you want to find out for your self so he tells me yeah sure. so the light turns green and all hands down i smoke him like theirs no tomarrow so then he tells me at the next red light hey those things have some go i guess my friend is full of **** because theirs no way he could of kept up. sorry so long but i just had to prove this guy wrong

[titanized]

I have 3500 miles on my truck, and have yet have somebody with a Ford, Dodge, or Chevy that will race. My fiance took the truck to work one night, and she was telling me about this jacka$$ in a 2004 F-150 Ext Cab that was tailgating her on the highway and wouldn't pass her. Well he got off the same exit as her and pull up next to her. Needless to say I have taught her well and smoked him. Once the lanes dropped down he stayed back. I can't stand these a$$holes that think if your not driving the same type of truck (brand loyalist), you are in the wrong. I guess he just needed to be put in his place.

[linkbro]

Not to burst your bubble, but have you looked at 1/4 mile times for alot of different cars and trucks? There is a whole bunch of websites run by car/truck magazines that list tested times for almost everything out there for the last 20 years. Most can be taken as fairly accurate to a few 1/10s of a second. Heres a list of a few that would beat a Titan or be very close to matching it depending on the drivers.

AMC madator
Dodge neon
toyota camry
Lincoln towncar

Plus many more too funny to list.

As far as pickups go, the titan may post the best 1/4 mile time, however when you fiqure the foot per second at the end of the 1/4 mile, it works out to mere feet differnce between the major three and four pickup makers. Somehow I cant comprehend how "smoked" fiqures into this. I use mine more for the purpose it was intended, hauling loads in the bed, towing my toys around on the trailer, and using the RV behind it. I quess thats why the people that make those "piss on xxxx" stickers for the back windows stay in business

[JetTech]

Originally Posted by linkbro

Not to burst your bubble, but have you looked at 1/4 mile times for alot of different cars and trucks? There is a whole bunch of websites run by car/truck magazines that list tested times for almost everything out there for the last 20 years. Most can be taken as fairly accurate to a few 1/10s of a second. Heres a list of a few that would beat a Titan or be very close to matching it depending on the drivers.

AMC madator
Dodge neon
toyota camry
Lincoln towncar

Plus many more too funny to list.

As far as pickups go, the titan may post the best 1/4 mile time, however when you fiqure the foot per second at the end of the 1/4 mile, it works out to mere feet differnce between the major three and four pickup makers. Somehow I cant comprehend how "smoked" fiqures into this. I use mine more for the purpose it was intended, hauling loads in the bed, towing my toys around on the trailer, and using the RV behind it. I quess thats why the people that make those "piss on xxxx" stickers for the back windows stay in business

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM, do I feel the presence of an elitist or what?? Get him Chief

[rrumaner]

My wife drives a 99 Neon Sport RT that would eat a Titan for lunch and be waiting to serve you dinner by the time you crossed the finish line.

[hwwaaahhhhh]

I tried to race against my Dad in his '04 Maxima... needless to say, he showed me who's boss. =\

[pecora55]

Owned an 04 max...still in the family, madre bought it....needless to say...its very fast

[PHOEBISIS]

Linkbro,yes there are plenty of cars that accelerate faster than the Titan,but these 3 aren't them.I got these results from Consumer Reports.I find
their mpg results are the most reproducible,and they usually show the slowest 0-60 and 1/4 times and speeds-they don't use the factory supplied ringers like all the moto mags do.They haven't tested a Titan yet,so I used the 4wd Armada as a stand in.MT tested both ,and they had the same 1/4 times with the Titan being quicker-90 vs 88.Of course,the Armada isn't the Titan,but I'll be willing to bet-2-1 odds,if you like-that the Titan will show faster times than these three?If you think any one of them is faster,take the bet.
Well,just kidding,but why bother reading and responding to this stuff,if you think it is pointless?A lot of folks like to brag about their car-doesn't matter what it is.It is all just for fun.Luck,Charlie

[rvandam]

If we comparing apples to oranges anyway, why not include motorcycles, too?

For instance, I own a Kawasaki ZRX1200. For those of you not familiar with motorcycles: no fairing to speak of, 20 year old frame design that has been slightly updated, and a 10 year old engine design:

0-60: 2.9 sec
1/4 mile: 10.85 sec / 125mph

Does this take away from my experience in the Titan when I press the pedal to the metal? No, of course not. The Titan can smoke most standard trucks. Just don't race it outside its class.

[TrojanDan]

Originally Posted by rvandam

If we comparing apples to oranges anyway, why not include motorcycles, too?

For instance, I own a Kawasaki ZRX1200. For those of you not familiar with motorcycles: no fairing to speak of, 20 year old frame design that has been slightly updated, and a 10 year old engine design:

0-60: 2.9 sec
1/4 mile: 10.85 sec / 125mph

Does this take away from my experience in the Titan when I press the pedal to the metal? No, of course not. The Titan can smoke most standard trucks. Just don't race it outside its class.

Don't you think you're way outta line there rvan? Cmon, let's keep this conversation about 4-wheeled vehicles. In which case, I'd like to compare the Enzo Ferrari to the slow-*** Titan. The Enzo goes 0-62mph in 3.65 seconds. Pretty damn fast. So all you Titan owners out there that think you're truck is fast, just remember the Enzo Ferrari.

Linkbro

Obviously there are a lot faster vehicles than the Titan out there, and you don't need a $300k import to prove that. You don't think that Titan owners know that Link? But they do have fun kickin a competitors *** once in awhile.

[BudmanHemi]

Have you Wooped a Ford Lately??



WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIWAYS?

So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?

To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.

HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE A FORD

FORD ACRONYMS:

Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot

Factory Ordered Road Disaster

Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road Dead

Flip Over Read Directions

Four Old Rusted Doors

Fixed On Race Day

Ford Owner Really Dumb

For Only Retarded Drivers

Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs.

Ford Owners Recommend Dodge

Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy

Found On Russian Dump

For Off Road Death

it Freaking Only Runs Downhill

Fat Old Rusted Dog

Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)

Frigin Oakies Really Dig it

Funky Old Road Dog

Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty

Found on Road Ditches

PINTO ACRONYMS:

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER

"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."

This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If it wasn't for our Fords, our tools would rust.

This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"

Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Ford trucks the worst always rest

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.

Next time some Fordnatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enoug to run a race before needing another weeks work.

WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS AND CARS MORE AERODYNAMIC?

So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.

WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?

The Ford Rustang, The Ford Muststink

WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?

Because the President drives a Ford

WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?

Would you like a tow home?

HOW CAN THEY APPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK OR CAR?

Put a Chevy engine in it.

HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK COULD HAUL WOOD?

As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.

WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?

A ford thunderturd

SPEED KILLS DRIVE A FORD LIVE FOR EVER

I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!

HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?

Fill it with gas!

The Ford Escort. Otherwise known as The Ford Escort Me To A Chevy Dealer!

Have You Out Driven a Ford Lately?

Ford is just another four letter word!

The Ford Ranger, Otherwise know as the Ford Danger!

The Ford Explorer, Otherwise know as the Ford Exploder!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING ME POST THESE FORD JOKES! IF YOU HAVE ANY NEW ONES, E-MAIL ME AND I WILL POST THEM! THANKS!

[TrojanDan]

Bro, you have way too much time on your hands.

[BudmanHemi]

Originally Posted by TrojanDan

Bro, you have way too much time on your hands.

No, just pasted from something i found. No time at all.