Once upon a time, when I was 17 and newly enlisted, I owned a bad-*** 1979 Datsun Sentra, 2-door turd brown wonder car. I came out of a class one day to see a massive seething carpet of mysterious white mass enveloping it. As I drew closer, I realized it composed of hundreds of seagulls covering every square inch of my car. First I was befuddled, then I was enraged. I ran at them, waving my arms and screaming. The whole horde took wing at once, in a cacophony of caws of protest.
When seagulls lift off in fright, they first 'lighten the load'. My car was absolutely covered in bird-****. Looked like someone dipped the car in a tank of it. As I drew closer in hapless amazement, I realized there were the remnants of about a dozen doughnuts strategically distributed over the entire car. It was then that I heard the snickering and laughter of my 'friends' behind the barracks.
So in the grand scheme of things, eggs aren't so bad...